What It Holds For Her, She Hasn't Yet Guessed

Abbey starts college today. I find myself thinking a lot about her lately. (I think she reads this blog every once in a while, 'hi Abbey!') I also find myself thinking about my own college experience. She has so much in front of her, so much to learn, and my sister and her husband have given her a good foundation. Now is her turn to build upon that foundation a life of her own. How scary, but how cool all at the same time. I didn't ponder my own life, or the big picture, when I went to Mizzou. I was just so happy to get out of Ste. Genevieve, and Marching Band kept me so busy, there was no time to look back.

Recently I clicked on a link to the "New Ivy League Colleges" and was reminded of one of my old fantasies; going to school at Colby College. When you are a senior in high school, colleges from all over send you information. I have always been attracted to Maine, and although I never applied, and never really gave it much thought about actually attending school there, it was a fun idea in my head. Colby is now a "new ivy league" and who's to say if I would have even been accepted. It is now a very international school, and something like 70% of all students enrolled there attend school abroad. Wonder what I would be like if I had gone there instead? Would I have studied in a foreign country? Would I have very culturally diverse friends? Would I be me? It's interesting to think that one decision could change you in such ways.

I had a dream the other night that I actually went back to college. Everytime I go to Mizzou to visit Sally and Jill, I dream of my beer drinking, nap taking days there. In my dream I was 30, and I lived with Katie, my terrible roomate in Fresno, who we affectionately called "Katie the Lady" (another story for another day.) I can remember asking myself "How is John going to be able to keep our house while I am at school?" Katie the Lady said she had a job at Houlihans (there is no Houlihans in Fresno.) I said, "Oh I have to get one of those kind of jobs?"

I am happy where I am. I don't wish I went to school at Colby, and I don't wish I was back in college. I do wish the best for Abbey, though, and I do wish I could explain to her that all of life's possibilities are spread before her.

And as I heard Christy tell Abbey (and Tony) to put on sunscreen all through vacation, I think of this song:

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…