Truth be Told...

...this baby is kicking my ass this week. She doesn't want to sleep. Every night this week I've been up until midnight or longer, and the alarm goes off at 5 a.m. Monday was not so bad, Tuesday I had off, so I slept a few more minutes in the morning, Wednesday I was dragging and today I'm barely hanging on. Last night I went to bed at 8:30p.m., and she was up at 9:13 to eat. At 10:15 p.m. John got out of bed to hold her, and at 11 p.m. she wanted to eat again and not fall asleep until midnight. Plus, on top of all this not sleeping, I'm trying so hard to make more milk and pump so while I am gone next week she can continue to be exclusively on breastmilk. I drink gallons of water a day, eat cereal and soup, anything liquid to help make more milk. This morning I had so much milk that she drank it too fast and threw it all up on me. I'm talking projectile spit up, out her nose, on all my clothes and hers, the boppy, the sheets, etc. Then she cried through my whole shower. Yesterday I put the swing right outside the bathroom and she swang while I showered. This morning she wasn't going for it, so I put a blanket and a play pad on the bathroom floor, and tried to wash my hair while "poking her paci" (as Amanda calls it.)

Needless to say, I'm exhausted. All this extra milk production, and crying and lack of sleep is making me looney. I cried on the way to work this morning because a Dave Mathews Band song came on. I worked really hard yesterday trying to keep her awake so she would go to sleep earlier, and I guess I'm going to do the same today. I have been avoiding coffee, especially after noon because I think it keeps her up, but I think I'm going to go make a pot here at work, so I can get something done, and maybe to aggravate her enough during the day today so she will sleep tonight. Oh God, please let her fall asleep before midnight tonight.

In good news, though, she rolled over last night for the first time. Mommy's lack of sleep doesn't seem to be phasing her at all.