happylaney

It's time to lose your mind and let the crazy out.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fumbling

Up until recently motherhood has come pretty naturally for me. I know I drive John nuts with the day to day questions...should I put her pajamas on now or later?...what should we feed her for dinner?... but overall I most-of-the-time-kind-of know what I'm doing... until recently that is. Want to help me solve some of these child rearing questions?

1. She's getting her first tooth, and she has a runny nose. Is this one in the same, or does she have a cold?

2. She cries and fusses a lot more lately... I guess this has to do with that tooth also... how do I know when she's in pain? Do I give her children's tylenol at my discretion?

3. What about oragel? Are there side effects of oral teething treatments?

4. What about zwiebach? Do they help with teething?

5. Her very rough schedule has disappeared also. Am I to blame that one tooth for all this? She sleeps for like 20 minutes at a time, instead of the usual 40-1 hour. And then she is perpetually tired.

6. How long does it take one tooth to come in? Somebody told me it takes a couple weeks. Will she be like this the entire time?

7. On to food... I usually give her a vegetable and cereal at lunch, and a fruit and cereal with dinner. Do I have to give her cereal at every feeding?

8. Do I really have to wait 3 days before introducing a new food?

9. If I just give her a fruit or vegetable and no cereal, should I give her milk too? (milk = breastmilk or formula)

10. How much should she be awake everyday? I feel like she's awake more than most babies her age, but knowing that doesn't help much. Monday night I thought she was asleep at 7:30 p.m. (which is early for her), but then she woke up again at 8:15 p.m. like it was just a late nap. (?) How do I know one from the other?

11. Then there's the separation anxiety... She cries everytime I walk in the opposite direction. It drives me crazy. It makes me feel smothered. I don't like it. Half of Java and I's relationship is me pushing him off my lap. I don't like to be clung to; I need space. I read something that said I should give her as much attention as possible, and then she will have more confidence and move through this quicker. Then there's the older ladies who say I should not bend to her every whim. My first idea is to run as fast as I can away from her...will holding her more and holding her everytime she cries for me really help things?

12. The book says separation anxiety happens anytime between 6 months and 2 years. Will this go on until she's 2? If so, feel free to have me committed at any time.

13. She pinches me. She usually does it when I'm feeding her. She pinches my arm, or sometimes my neck. Is she old enough to teach her not to pinch?

14. If so, how do I teach her not to pinch?

15. How do I know when to bother the pediatrician with all these questions, and when just to bother you?

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3 Comments:

  • At 12:29 PM, July 31, 2008, Anonymous Katie said…

    Hi Elaine-
    I don't have kids, but my friend Terry that you met back in Feb. is here. She raised 3 kids, and here are her thoughts on your questions...hope this helps a bit.

    1. Runny nose & teething is the same thing

    2. the pain is constant until the tooth breaks through the gum. Go ahead and give her tylenol at your discretion.

    3.oragel would be good also...Terry doesn't know if it really helps or not, but if it helps YOU, well then, no problem....no lasting problems will occur.

    4.Terry did not like zwiebach, she used frozen bagels....she also says you can get teething rings that you can chill...no chocking hazards that way.

    5.Terry isn't blaming the nap thing on the tooth, but says that kids go through cycles...if she starts fussing in 20 minutes, don't go and get her up...she if she'll fall back to sleep. If she's really screaming after 10 minutes or so, then go get her (if you can stand waiting that long!).

    6.She may be like this for the whole time (sorry, Terry feels like the bearer of bad news - I'm just taking dictation), but kids vary as far as how long it takes to get the tooth cut.

    7.No, you don't have to give her cereal at every feeding...it does help them fill up, but you don't have too. You could give a fruit and a vegetable in stead of fruit and cereal.

    8. yes, wait three days to make sure she isn't allergic to the new food.

    9.Terry always offered something to drink with a meal (milk/formula)

    10.no help on this one sorry....every baby is different. sorry.

    11.You don't have to hold her all the time...hold her as much as you want to...if you need to put her down and do something, then go ahead. She will be blaming much more serious things on you when she's 16 and you are not letting her go to the prom with her loser boyfriend who is 21 and smokes. :)

    12. Here's your paperwork.

    13.She is old enough to learn not to pinch...

    14. Hold her pinching hand...say something like 'ow you're hurting mommy' and/or 'no no'.

    If that doesn't work, pinch her back. My mom made my sister bite me when I was three because I supposedly didn't know what it felt like (Yeah right!). O.k., that was my advice...Terry says don't pinch her back. Sigh. Wait until she's three.

    15.There is no such thing as a stupid question for a first time mother! Ask away - us and the pediatrician. Although, that being said, you might not want to ask me (KT) about anything that could cause harm. I say, duct tape until they are 25!

    Cheers! kT & Terry
    P.S. Terry says do NOT cheat to lose on a board game (such as candy land) because it does not teach your child how to be a good sport. Take her word for it.

     
  • At 9:06 PM, July 31, 2008, Anonymous April Bustillos said…

    Hi Elaine-
    I'm Jeremy's wife and we have 2 (and a half) kids....he showed me your site and told me I needed to get back to you pronto! Hope I'm helping a bit! ;)
    1. Yes, the runny nose and the tooth are probably one in the same.
    2. Yes, her crankiness probably has to do with the tooth, and you'll know when she's in pain...the cry is different. Drug her at any time you feel the need to!
    3. Oragel works pretty well, but I've also given my boys some Jack Daniels...it also helps the mommy through the teething process! Just be careful with giving too many pain relievers in too short a period of time...space them out.
    4. Zwiebach couldn't hurt, but my boys loved the teething biscuits more (from Gerber I think) and I keep them in the car, my purse, the diaper bag, anywhere...plus they are individually wrapped. Big bonus!
    5. Napping is a fickle thing. She might be waking up because her teeth are bothering her, but once she hits another growth spurt, she'll be back to sleeping like a pro.
    6. Forever. and Probably.
    7. I gave my boys cereal as often as I could. They are massive boys and eat constantly. I fear the teenage years.
    8. Yes, so you know what she has an allergy to, if she develops one. It makes it easier to narrow down.
    9. Again, my boys are bottomless pits, so I had to feed them constantly so they'd sleep longer than 10 minutes and leave me alone long enough for me to shower.
    10. Sleeping schedules are weird, she'll settle into something but try and keep it consistent so she has something to go off of.
    11. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I would leave them in their crib for a few minutes and come back, so they knew I didn't leave them. Enjoy them wanting you now since it will only be a few short years before they're asking you to drop them off at school around the corner so they don't have to be seen with you.
    12. It would be best to have your paperwork filled out and at the hospital waiting for you....that way you can get straight to the good stuff.
    13. I had a biter with my second one, and I had to teach him not to do that while he was eating...so I would de-latch him and he got the point, that if he bit me, he wouldn't get fed. They'll learn. Or you could do what Jeremy did when our boys pinched him...pinch them back.
    14...pinch back or de-latch, or just tell her no and make a face, she'll get the hint from your expression
    15. Bother your friends, family and the pediatrician. Better to be sure that they're not getting sick than to get them REALLY sick and have to deal with that too. I can't tell you how many times I've had the boys in to make sure they didn't have an ear infection and they were "just teething". Frustrating, but at least the pediatricians were really nice. ;) Hope I helped, and we'd love to hear from you!
    April Bustillos and boys

     
  • At 9:18 PM, July 31, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Here's my 2cents...Let me first say that I've forgetten a lot of stuff about Valerie and Cecilia is very lucky that you are blogging and can refer back to all of this in the future=)

    1. Louise did get a runny nose for about 2 weeks while she was cutting her 2 bottom teeth--beware that she may be getting her 2nd right after her first.

    2. Most likely due to the teeth. Lou was not herself for about a week (ie whiney, clingy, etc). I would spike her bottles with ibuprofen (easier and less messy). Give her something to chew on to help.

    3. I used oragel once with Lou--didn't seem to work.

    4. Not sure what zwiebach is?? I did put a piece of ice in that mesh feeder thing (supposed to be used for fruit--and I will try some frozen fruit in it next time around).

    5. Do you have a routine at all--even if it's just sleeping with something special? Are you trying to put her in bed after she's already asleep? This is what works for us...As soon as she starts getting cranky (works because she normally only gets cranky for sleep and food) I put her in bed with pacifier and tag blankie, close the blinds and turn on her crib music. If she does wake up crying then I wait a few minutes and she will usually put herself back to sleep.

    6. It really did take Lou about 2 weeks to return to normal. And she looks so darn cute with the 2 that she has!

    7. Breakfast--oatmeal cereal w/ fruit. Lunch--cereal w/ veggie. Dinner--no cereal and usually some sort of meat, veggie and fruit. I use the stage 2 beech nut baby food brand. She also gets a 6 oz bottle of formula after each "meal". I try to get her to use the sippie cup during the meal--she knaws on it more than drinks out of it.

    8. Does your family have many food allergies? Ours doesn't so I don't really worry about it. I have noticed that she spits up more when she eats orange food so I'll talk to her dr. about that at her next check-up.

    9. see question 7

    10. First let me say this...God somehow knew that for me to be a good mother, I would need my sleep... so I have been extremely blessed with babies that slept through the night at 7 weeks. Lou takes about a 1.5-2 hour nap in the am and about a 2.5-3hour nap in the afternoon. Her summer bedtime schedule has been 8p-7a @ night with some exceptions...sorry.

    11. Again...We haven't really had to deal too much with this (mainly because our drama queen steals our attention away, but that's a whole other story).

    12. I don't think so. Once she's mobile, she can just follow you everywhere=)

    13. yes,

    14. give her something else to hold on to/pinch. Try not to use the word NO--use a sound that means the same thing. We learned that the hard way...when V was 1, she would say NO all the time.

    15. In my experience, the pediatrician gives a very general answer to most questions because they know all kids are different. I think this is the best forum for all of your questions. We'll talk more in a couple of weeks=) Good Luck! cori

     

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