I am a Farmer's Daughter.

Cows are the stupidest animals on the earth, and if you disagree, you haven't spent enough time around cows. I spent many days of my life chasing/herding cows. They inevitably got out of the field, and onto the road at the most inconvient times. I spent many family get togethers chasing cows. Picture me at your normal holiday (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter), all dressed up in my seasonal new dress, being all teenager-like, gangly, putting my moon boots on to chase the cows out of the road, or out of the neighbors property. A couple times the police even showed up. Sounds like an extra scene in Napoleon Dynamite.

When I got older, I learned to hunt deer, because the deer ate my grapes, and I needed to protect my crop and my future. This is still my main reason for hunting. I always wondered why the cows got off so easy when they grazed through the vineyard. I should have shot every one of them, just like mom shot the chickens. Lucky for me, dad sold his cows about a month ago.

There is one tiny thing I like about cows (besides eating them.) I like when the weather gets hot, and they wade in the pond. It amuses me, and I guess I think, even though they are stupid, they at least know how to cool off.