Prepare for impact

This is the reason I have not had any energy to blog lately. I barely have energy to get out of bed in the morning. Taking care of a 9 month old is tiring, and growing a 10 week old is exhausting. We really didn't expect to be pregnant right now, but we are so excited. I am actually feeling a range of emotions (one of the perks of pregnancy.) I am relieved that the baby looks healthy. I am anxious about labor already. I am pondering having another C-section. I am nervous that John and I won't have any time to be together after this baby comes. I am terrified of the bills; the health insurance, more day care, more stuff including high chairs, cribs, etc. I am right now feeling most aware of the fact that Cecilia won't be the only baby for very long. I know she's too little to understand, but I don't want her to feel slighted. I don't want her to be jealous, or ever feel replaced. Maybe since she's the first born she'll always feel special? She's just so cute and so happy, I don't want her personality to change when the next baby comes along.

Anyway, that's some big news, huh? I didn't want to have two babies in diapers, but I also didn't want a 5 year age difference. I am already feeling drained thinking about the amount of energy it will take to have two very small people in our lives at the same time. Here's hoping it's twice as much work, but four times as much fun.