It's time to lose your mind and let the crazy out.
Friday, November 02, 2012
Home Town
John has liked this song for months. I was a little slower to warm up to it. Phillip Phillips just won American Idol, and to me he is a Dave Matthews wannabe. I finally asked John what he thought the song was about, and he said it's about a girl who moves back to her home town because her husband has a good job there. Then he winked at me. Hard not to like it now. ;)
"Settle down, it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons, They fill you with fear. The trouble it might drag you down. If you get lost, you can always be found.
Just know you’re not alone, Cause I’m going to make this place your home."
Today was crazy. Motherhood is craziness. Working full time, being a mother of three small children, tests all my capabilities. It wasn't totally unlike many of my days, just a little more extreme. Parenthood has so many highs and lows.
After work on Wednesdays, the girls have ballet, and John has band practice. So, John and I meet at Hwy 32 and C to exchange vehicles. When I handed him the breast milk that I had pumped today at work, for him to put in the frig at home, one of the bottles was empty, it's contents at the bottom of my purse, soaked into my planner, a random sock of Dominic's and God knows what else down there in the dark pit of a mother's purse. On the way to ballet, Dominic fussed most of the ride. It was a bored cry. I handed him a few toys, one at a time, and he promptly threw them all on the floor of the van, one at a time in quick succession. Ballet practice went pretty well, while chit chatting with another mom, I found two new teeth in Dominic's mouth. How did those get there? How long have those been there? On the way home from ballet Dominic ramped up the fussing. I tried toys, I tried the radio. I told him to "hush up." Charlotte told me "hush up isn't nice." I told him to "be quiet." Charlotte told me what I tell her so many times, "he doesn't understand you." I started to hand him anything I could find that I knew he couldn't swallow, just to stop the agonizing noise coming from the back seat. I handed him a small Purell bottle, hand sanitizer. He was quiet. It was a miracle, a tiny victory, a moment of softer tones. And then I heard choking and crying and smelled the alcoholic smell of hand sanitizer. Panic. I pulled over, grabbed the bottle, and read the back label. "If swallowed please call poison control." Oh my God. I wiped out his mouth with Cecilia's jacket, searched the internet on my phone for a phone number, and immediately called. Darlene from poison control answered the phone. I told her what happened, how much he weighed, how big the bottle was, etc. Dominic was screaming. She told me to get him out of the car seat and soothe him. So, I was standing in the parking lot of Flieg's Farm equipment, holding a baby, talking on the phone. I didn't look up at the cars going by. The shame was real. She said the bottle is 2 ounces, which is 60 mL, and I told her half of it was still in the bottle, and we have had the bottle awhile, and knew it wasn't full when I gave it to him. She said the highest dose he could have was 15mL, so that was half of what could be missing from the bottle. Did I think he could have swallowed that much? I have no idea. Darlene said we should error on the side of caution, and go to the emergency room. She said he should eat, preferably something with protein, and drink something preferably juice. I told her I wasn't far from home and could I just go home and monitor him. She said the effects could start taking place in 30 minutes. I got off the phone with her and called John. He said I should get juice and come home and observe him here. Luckily Ste. Genevieve has a drive through convenience store, so I drove through and got some milk, took him home, fed him, gave him his first taste of juice ever. He was starving, shoving the food in, and loving the juice. He had juice everywhere. While we're eating dinner, Charlotte has to go potty, can't get her ballet leotard down in time, and pees in front of the washing machine on the way to the bathroom. I tell her to take all her clothes off, and I put a towel over the pee, and commenced with dinner. Darlene called back and asked how he looked, did he seem intoxicated, wobbly, etc. I answered all those questions with a "no." She said that all sounded good, and she'd call back again in 30 minutes. When Dominic was finished eating, I put him on the living room floor to see if he seemed off balance, He didn't. Thank God. No drunk baby here. I picked him up, put on my favorite new song, Madness by Muse, and started to dance. He giggled. Not big giggles, just one little giggle at a time, isn't-this-fun giggles. Naked Charlotte, and Cecilia in ballet clothes joined us. We had a moment, a moment of relief, a moment of forgiving myself, a moment of craziness, a moment of being surrounded by the love that can be created in a family. I put Dominic down, standing in front of me, and he stood for a long time, the longest I've ever seen him stand alone, and then took a step towards me. We did it again, and again. The girls screamed with excitement of Dominic's first steps. He stood there, desperately trying to move his foot, his little toes pushing and stretching, occasionally taking a step or two towards me and then toppling over into my arms.
I wonder if years from now I'll be able to remember the exhaustion, the thrill, of life with tiny people.
Here's the Madness song on youtube. The video is distracting, so if you could find it on spotify, or play the video then minimize the screen, that's what I would suggest.
Here's some pictures from John and I's trip to the Big Apple. We went for our 10 year anniversary, and had been dreaming about this trip for about two years. We walked and walked and walked some more, just trying to see everything on our list. It was so nice to spend some time together, to walk hand in hand and making silly jokes or flirt. I married an amazing man, and 16 years after I met him, 11 years after I started dating him, and 10 years after I married him I still find him enchanting, charming, witty, handsome, and sweet. Last night when we were snuggling, he was playing a game on his iphone, and I was trying to sleep, and he turned down the sound so it wouldn't bother me. That's modern day love right there. =) Swoon. =)
Grand Central Station
top of the Empire State Building
Today Show waiting for the New Kids on the Block and Back Street Boys (NKOTBSB) to perform
Natalie was in town for Thanksgiving, and we went out last night, along with her friend, Maura. We started at Pi and ended at Blueberry Hill, where I left my debit card. =( It took some energy and a wardrobe search to go hang, but I was glad that I did. It's always fun to catch up with Natalie, she's got a million guys, and a million things going for her. Working with practically all guys, plus my Dad, it's so nice to find time to have some girl time and girl talk. I'm somehow refreshed and exhausted all at the same time today. Thanks, to John, my amazing husband who stayed at home so I could go hang with the girls twice this weekend, once with Natalie and Maura and once with Cori and her radioactivism.
Trying to sell our house is the hardest thing I've done in a long time, and that includes having two babies. It's not fun. It's exhausting, and in this market, it breaks my heart. I love this house, and it's hard for me to picture leaving this house, but I know it makes sense for my family. If you would have told me 15 years ago that I would willingly move to Ste. Gen, I would have laughed in your face. Behold the power of love.
We had the sign in the front yard from May 17th to September 17th. We had at least 4 open houses, plus a handful of people make appointments to see it. We had zero offers. We lowered the price $13,000.00 =( We landscaped, spiffed, sweated, organized, and stressed ourselves out to the max. The hardest part was keeping the house clean. We are clean people, but keeping our house clean enough to show at a moments notice is entirely different. It sucks. We are up every weekday morning at 5 a.m., and our family of 4 is out of the house every morning by 6 a.m. Then, if that's isn't impressive enough, picture trying to have the house spotless on top of all that. If they call at 1:30 p.m. at work, and ask if they can show the house at 3:30 p.m., I can't get home and clean it before they get there, and we never wanted to, or did turn down a showing. The weekends were their own disaster. We didn't want to be home, because the girls can destroy a clean house in about 8 minutes flat, and we didn't want to leave the house because that meant we had to we all of us in the car and a clean house. Don't even ask about the cats and the kitty litter. My brother reminded me that Phyllis Diller once said, "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing."So, our contract with our real estate agent was up, and we decided not to renew. Wasn't anything she did wrong, just October is the busiest month for John and I, he with marching band and me with grape harvest. Now, here we are, wondering what to do next. Should we call and interview new agents, and try to decorate the house cute for the holidays and put it back on the market pronto, or should we wait, the holidays are busy enough and get it back out there in January?
I don't know what all these people are looking for anyway, our house is as cute as a button. We loved it the first time we saw it. After looking at dozens of city houses, I can guarantee this house is in tip top shape. While we were in Chicago, my cousins' wife Lisa had just been to a live taping of Oprah, and in true Oprah fashion, suggested I should write down all the things I love about my house and send it to the universe. Instead, I'm going to send it to you. I love my house because:
It is brick. It has unique arched doorways. It has beautiful stained glass windows. It has a two car garage. It has hardwood floors that we refinished. It has tile on the walls in the bathroom and kitchen. It has a brand new kitchen that we redid ourselves. It has the most darling nursery. I'm in love with those slanted walls. It has 4 bedrooms. It has a functional mud room. It has daffodils that I planted. It has a laundry shoot. Our mailbox is built into the wall. It has a rose, a mum, a crepe myrtle, and bleeding hearts that all bloom. The walls of the basement are in excellent condition- not something a lot of city houses can say. It has a brand new electric box. It has matching, original, art deco looking chandeliers in the foyer and dining room. It is within walking distance or Tower Grove park, an amazing coffee shop, the Library, 3 playgrounds, the grocery store, dry cleaners, restaurants, and all sorts of other fun city stuff.
John is at home with the girls all summer, and bless his heart. They are very loving, don't get me wrong, can be very sweet to each other. Charlotte gives these great big kisses that only a mom would adore. They are also very demanding, and exhausting. John told me the other day he spends about 60% of his day holding a baby and talking to Cecilia. "Hello, Cecilia, what's your name?" If that right there doesn't make you love John, you just might be dead inside.
Last night he was holding the baby, talking to Cecilia, and says, "We're going to the beach soon." I start rubbing my hands together, and my eyes glaze over, "You should see my list of things to pack. It is fine tuned, it is an amazing list." Then I giggle. Then John makes the baby say, "Is your mom crazy? She might be crazy. "
I put together this compilation of my favorite moments from the past 5 years, because I'm that person. I love love love this post. There are some unhappy, very unhappy days in there, a lot of chaotic days lately, and just some downright frustrating parts of my life, of every one's life, but for me, it's important to remember how blessed I am, how great my life is, how amazing my husband is, how much joy my girls have brought to my life, how I am surrounded by family and friends who love me, and how nice it is to be 'happylaney.'
Look how young and cute we were. I really do think this was the best decision I have made in my life so far. I always pictured marriage to be good, but I could never imagine how full my heart would be. I'm all postpartum and emotional, but I thank God every minute of everyday for bringing John into my life. 8 years, two apartments and a house, 4 cats, and 2 babies later, I couldn't be happier.
when you wake up early in the morning to go to your father-in-law's house to spend all day cutting up 50 lbs of tomatoes and cooking them over an open fire in the middle of July to make 11 pints of ketchup when you really don't like ketchup that much and when all you can think about is the book that is waiting for you at home.
Saturday night didn't start out so good for John. We were supposed to get together with Becky and Brian and Sara and Chuck and Julie for a game night. Becky and Brian couldn't come, and Chuck had to work, but Sara and Julie still wanted to do something. Once John hears neither Chuck nor Brian are coming along, he proclaims he has to have sex with all girls involved or he's not going. Sad face #1. Then we decide to go to the little coffee shop up the street that has live entertainment on the weekends. We walk in and are completely submersed in lesbians. Lesbians singing, playing guitar, playing the keyboard, drinking coffee, swaying to the music. Everywhere you looked there were lesbians. We hurriedly drank our coffee, after I accidentally spilled some of mine on one of the lesbians' kids. (whoops!!) (It was mostly just foam, it wasn't really hot.) John shot me dirty looks every half second, and so we left. When we got back in the car Julie said she wondered on our way into the coffee shop why there were so many bad looking people in that bar. These were not lipstick lesbians, these were 50-60 year old short grey hair lesbians. Sad face of John's #2. From there we headed to my favorite place in St. Louis to go out; 33, which is a wine bar in Lafayette Square. Sara had the tiniest bottle of wine I'd ever seen. John had a beer, which should cancel out the lesbians. Then we went to Square One Brewery where we all had beer. John even ordered chicken wings. Things were looking up for him....until we asked him to go get the car, which was like 10 freezing ass cold blocks away. He didn't even say yes or no, he just hung his head and headed for the door. Sad face #3.
To put the cherry on the top, he was sick all day Sunday. I think he might have had estrogen poisoning.
